St Patrick’s Day was two days before my second surgery. Regardless of how tired I was, I was determined to make it to the local parade. Christopher enjoyed it so much at the age of two, I knew at three, this year would be special for him (and for me as well). My mother in law came by and took us to lunch before the parade, she wanted to do something to help and wanted to spend some time with us. She is a nurse. During our lunch she was making small talk and started talking about “Cancer this and Cancer that” – I’m sure she meant well, but I was not ready to have this discussion over a Sunday afternoon lunch! As she continued talking, my mind went numb and I burst into tears and ran to the bathroom. Was this really me we were sitting here discussing?? It still felt so incredibly shocking and surreal.
After I returned from the bathroom, we moved on to another conversation and left for the parade, I was still shaking inside. As we stood there in the cold, watching the parade, all I could do was hold my little boy close and enjoy the parade through his eyes. I kept thinking to myself, I need to be here to see this with him next year, and the year after, and the year after……God please.
That day, in between the sound of the bagpipes and his beautiful, sweet laughter, I vowed that I would do every thing in my power to make that happen. To enjoy every moment of this beautiful life.