Dad

My Dad.

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As I sit here in my kitchen this morning with my husband and my son, I’m missing my dad.
We are having a nice low key morning, listening to music and sitting in our kitchen.  Christopher is playing and dancing and Dan is making us breakfast (such a great husband I have!)  I am very content sitting here with my boys, but yet, feeling quite melancholy.

If you’ve been reading along with me on my journey here, you know that my father passed away several years ago.  Today is his birthday.  July 21st, 1926…..he would have been 87.

I miss him.  I’m sure that feeling never goes away.  I was lucky enough to have two wonderful parents who raised me well – and became my dear friends in my adult life.  I used to call my dad for advice a lot.
When I lived in Chicago we had what we called our “monthly lunch club”  where we would meet halfway in between our two offices for lunch to catch up, talk about boys, business, life or whatever.  Just being together was special enough.  It’s so strange, every once in a while I still have the urge to pick up the phone and just give him a call to hear his voice.  He had a deep reassuring voice that always made me feel safe.
I sometimes wonder what he would have said to me while I was going through this challenging time, fighting the good fight.  Beating breast cancer.  I hope he would have been proud of how I handled everything.

Well Dad, today, we celebrate you.  The incredibly smart, funny, dedicated, hard working, quirky, wonderful man and father that you were.

Since my dad’s passing, I’ve honored him every year by having his favorite dinner on his birthday.  This is not only to honor him but to keep his memory alive with my three kids.

Did I mention my dad was quirky?  🙂

His favorite meal was hotdogs and baked beans!  It was an old tradition brought from Boston by my Grandfather when he moved to Chicago to marry my Grandmother.  We used to have it EVERY Saturday night when I was growing up….and it used to drive me crazy!  I’m not a big fan of hotdogs and never have been.  I think it might even be why I became a vegetarian for several years in my twenties!  Why couldn’t we just order pizza like all the other families I knew, really?!?

I have to say though that now, it is a very happy memory.  Part of the fabric of our wonderful childhood.   Now its a treat, the ONE day a year that I will actually eat a hot dog – and our kids really enjoy it!  Which makes me happy and I hope, makes my Dad smile down from heaven.

So today Dad, I honor you.  And every day, I try to live my life with integrity – following the “golden rule”  just like you taught me.

Tonight, I listened to a song called “I’m Already There” and held a picture of you and I in my hands with tears in my eyes. You were an amazing man and a wonderful father…..and as my sweet son came to me and asked me “Mommy, why are you crying?”  I showed him the picture and said “I miss my Daddy”, and my sweet little son said “Don’t cry Mommy I’m sure he misses you too….now come snuggle with me and watch Disney Junior and I’ll make you feel better!”

Dad, I love you and miss you…..but your legacy lives on in Christopher (who, by the way, loves to fish!).  Go BLUE!