My first day of Radiation.
Yesterday was a tough day. A lot tougher than I had imagined. My first treatment did not physically hurt at all, but emotionally it was hard.
I was a bit anxious waking up, I hadn’t slept well at all the night before, probably in anticipation of the day ahead. It was a rainy, gray day here in New York. My resolve was to just “power though”. To quote my dear friend Andrea Weetman; “The only way out, is through.” That was my plan.
Anne Randall, one of my best friends, went with me to my appointment. Anne has been by my side, daily, since the beginning. Thank you Anne, for taking every step of this journey with me. I am grateful for your friendship.
We went to lunch at Andy’s Pure Foods in Rye and had a nice time, as always, great conversation. We got to the appointment, and I met with Dr. Singh. She was kind and encouraging, I’m sure she could tell I was nervous. I’m sure she’s been through this hundreds of times.
Then, I was taken downstairs to the radiation area. I looked around and saw people waiting, all people, who were “fighting cancer” just like me. It was all very surreal and brought back all of the feelings I felt when I first heard my diagnosis. They had me change into a gown and sit to wait with the others. While Anne tried to entertain me with conversation, my heart started beating faster and I felt a pit settle into my stomach. I just wanted to get this over with!
Anne gave me a quick hug and a kiss as I was guided by the technicians into the room where my treatment would begin. I was quickly directed to the table, where I laid face down and prepared to get my radiation. Nannette, Luke and Jonathan the technicians adjusted me into place. Gave me quick instructions and then left the room. I was there by myself as the whir of the machine started and the lights went dim. It was at that point that the tears started to flow.
They instructed me to stay still as I fought back the sobs that were in my chest. How is this happening to me? How can this be? Oh Dear God, please help me through this.
When the sounds of the machines grew louder, that’s when I knew that the radiation was going into my body. I felt like I was in some terrible science fiction movie. I just continued repeating the Lord’s Prayer over and over in my mind, until it stopped.
And then it was done. Painless.
I walked out of the building and sat in my car and sobbed.